Purple, Blue, Green and pesky Unrequited love
by Adria626
Summary: Helen/John/James story with references to King Arthur and Zelda: all in the Out of the Blue Universe. This will be a multiple chapter story. Rating may or may not go up. Ashley is in this, I know...exciting!
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:**__ I own nothing of Sanctuary, Zelda, King Arthur or anything else I may have mentioned. Infringement is not intended. I just like to play around with my favorite characters in my favorite games, shows, and books._

_**A.N.:**__ This is an __**Out of the Blue**__ remix. Not sure if Nikola or Nigel will show up. I think it will be about Helen, John, and James. Oh and Ashley. This will be a multiple chapter story, filled to the brim with references, unrequited and not so unrequited love. I sincerely hope that it's good. Have fun reading. _

**Chapter 1: Zelda/Guinevere, Link/Lancelot, Ganandorf/King Arthur **

Helen looked around her house and the mess she had to clean up and the dinner she had to make before John came home. His temper was not a thing to be trifled with. The man never hit her, but his words stung none the less. It was like a hook shot to the heart every time he would yell or lie to her nonchalantly, jaggedly, and tortuously. A bomb was about to go off in their marriage at any second. Helen was not looking forward to it when it happened.

Ashley had even learned in her ten year old manner to stay out of her parents' way. The normally energetic, spontaneously loud child had become a silent recluse hiding in her room playing _The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time_. It was her favorite Zelda game out all the ones she owned and played. She had beaten it six times in the last three months. Whenever she would allow her mother to play the game instead of just watch her play, Helen could only figure out the fishing. She'd become a pro at fishing; even getting the thirty pound fish the keeper wouldn't let Link keep twice.

Helen laughed ironically as she realized just how much her life was turning out to be almost exactly like Ashley's games. Instead of painting Helen had spent her time in Ashley's room trying her best to get her stubborn daughter to open up to her. She enjoyed the storylines in all the games; though she agreed with Ashley that _The Ocarina of Time_ was the best one.

She placed this in the back of her mind as she finished folding clothes, ignoring the dishes in the sink for now. She'd do them while dinner—green bean casserole, baked chicken and rice cooked in the oven.

James Watson would be coming over tonight. Ashley loved her Uncle Jimmy. He had been John's best friend in law school, though he became a Private Eye instead of a lawyer.

Helen was looking forward to his arrival. He always put John in a good mood. Though her new tonight just may make him the happiest he'd been in months; though she didn't want to tell him until she could learn what his reaction would be. If was a bad one, she knew she would wish for what happened last time.

With a painful lump in her throat and her heart breaking at the thought she went upstairs to put the clothes away in their room.

It's not as if they hadn't talked and agreed about it and tried, but Helen knew she's be even more of a single parent if she did make it to term this time.

Laundry done, she went across the hall to Ashley's room.

What she really wanted was a magic potion to make John happier and a tad bit nicer as well. The man was not himself, his new case driving him to anger and irritation that he could not bottle up inside. He was still a good father to his daughter. He could still make her laugh and be excited around him. She wished he treated her half the way he treated Ashley.

An idea came to Helen, along with Zelda; Ashley loved King Arthur, even going as far as to asking Helen yesterday: "Mommy are you and Uncle Jimmy like Guinevere and Lancelot? Don't worry mommy Arthur didn't really love or appreciate Guinevere as much as Lancelot did. He just married her because he would have a good fighting ally in her father. He tried mommy, he really did but he had issues with his half sister."

Helen had a concerned expression on her face, her eyebrows creased as she tried to figure out which story she had read. She hoped John had not given her the Mary Stewart novels. Those were not for a ten year old. Knowing her husband he most likely did.

Helen had answered: "No Ashley we are not like Lancelot and Guinevere. Daddy is Arthur and I am Guinevere. If your Uncle Jimmy is anyone it would be Merlin. He is a bit of a wizard the way he solves puzzles. Would you like a painting of Lancelot and Guinevere or Merlin sweetie?"

"Uncle Jimmy looks more like Lancelot but sure mummy I guess he can be Merlin. Please make them look like you, daddy, and Jimmy. I think that would be really awesome mom." Ashley gave her a hug, and then remembered something. "Mummy can you paint one of Link and Zelda? They never get to be together and he does save Hyrule for her; well because she asked him."

"Ashley yes I will, but think about this: Link saved Hyrule because it needed to be saved not just because Zelda wanted or asked him to do so. Play some more and dinner will be ready in a half hour. Uncle James is coming tonight; I want you to be on your best behavior tonight. And please don't mention King Arthur, Lancelot or Guinevere. Let's just keep that to ourselves okay?"

"Okay mommy, but I still think the other thing. But don't worry I won't tell daddy."

The girl was smart, she'd give her that. Helen walked down the stairs to be greeted by James who had permission to not knock anymore.

She kissed him on both of his cheeks and smiled. "Why someone is early. John isn't home yet and I still have to do the dishes. Care to help?"

"I'd love nothing more. Shall I dry or wash?" Helen laughed for the first time in days and gave him a genuine smile.

She tossed him a towel. "You can dry. I miss having you around James. My house is so much cleaner."

"I don't know why John expects so much from you when you have a daughter to watching, and in your condition."

Helen almost dropped a plate. She glared at James for noticing her pale face and the small bump that was almost unnoticeable.

"You are what three months now? I take it John doesn't know? Are you going to tell him anytime soon or wait to bring the baby home?"

"John has not been himself lately. He's very cranky and irritable. I don't even know if he really wants another one. Ashley was hard enough and it's been three miscarriages since we had her. I'm not sure I could handle another one and I don't think John would care if it did."

The tears she had been trying to hide away fell into the water, her grip on every dish tighter than necessary to stop the shaking in her hands and the onslaught of nausea.

James placed a hand on her arm, held it and pulled her into a hug, allowing her to cry and let out all her fears.

"John can be an ass, there is no denying that. Neither is the fact that he will be very happy to have another child. I seem to recall he was just as sad as you were with the previous three. He is stressed yes, and I do not pity you living with him. But he loves you Helen, no matter his faults. If you'd like I could persuade him to act more pleasantly towards you, with a punch to the nose if he does not. I would, of course, be very subtle. I hate to see you cry because of his stupidity. If I had a wife I would…" James held her tighter to him as if he never wanted to let her go, not finishing that thought.

"James the baby doesn't like to be squeezed. I do appreciate your help, and as long as you're very subtle though enough for him to get the point go right ahead. I don't think it would hurt anything. I'm making your favorite, green bean casserole."

"You do know how to make your guest feel right at home. Thank you. Now go lay down, John won't be home for at least an hour and you need to rest. Allow me to help you."

Helen smiled at him, rolling her eyes as she made herself comfortable on the couch.

"I'd hit you, but you're right I am too tired to do so. Thank you James."

"Anything for you Helen. I'll wake you up before John comes home, and I'll feign innocence when if he asked anything untoward."

"You are a very good man. Any woman would and should be ecstatically happy to be your wife."

James grinned at his best friend's wife, wishing not for the first time he had asked her to marry him. The regret had always plagued him. Yes, James Watson loved Helen Druitt and wish things had turned out very different. There would never be another woman for him; and somehow he knew she had started to wish the same.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Yes, yes I know I don't own Sanctuary. Ah, but if I did…It'd be a little like this…

**Chapter 2: The Absence of an Abusive Husband, the talk of Amorous Affairs, and the Awkward Unfairness of it all**

"Helen dear it's time to wake up. I'll set the table and you can go get Ashley. I haven't heard a peep out of her since I arrived."

Helen bound up, regretting the fast move as a wave of dizziness blurred her vision.

James ran from the kitchen when he saw Helen sway. He caught her in his arms before she fell headfirst onto the coffee table.

"Never mind I'll go get Ashley. I'll not have you fall down the stairs."

"Thank you James. It would have been hard to explain to John why I was unconscious on the floor." She tightened her grip on him, her vision going completely black with small red dots before it cleared up.

Helen leaned her head on his shoulder, wrapping her shaking hands around his neck, waiting patiently for the dizziness to decrease.

He whispered in her ear, "Has this happened before Helen?"

"Yes, not often, just mostly at night when I'm painting. John hasn't suspected anything is amiss."

"The bloody man can be so blind."

"And don't I know it."

"Have you at least gone to see a doctor?"

He lifted her chin up to see if she would try to lie to him.

"Of course I have. Everything is fine, but since I'm going to be start really showing soon; I need to tell John and sooner than later. He may be blind, but he's not that blind."

"Won't he wonder why you're just now telling him? I have been over quite a few times over the past three to six months."

"He would be insane to think that; and I know you know that."

Helen let go of James and made her way angrily to the kitchen. James followed her; concerned she may still collapse unexpectedly.

"But does John? I'm surprised he is not as jealous or suspicious of us."

"Perhaps because we've done nothing wrong; John does trust me, and you."

"Haven't we, I'm over here being more of a husband to you than John? I would have known the instant you were pregnant. I can treat you better and you know it."

"Stop it James. I don't pretend to know how much you truly care about me, but please leave well enough alone. I will not leave John, the father of my children or have an affair just because you are here and it's convenient." Helen whispered heatedly over the granite counter top.

"I do love you, and yes I know we can never be more than friends. I suppose I just hate to see you in so much pain and turmoil. John treats you like a servant, not a wife; and frankly I'm sick of watching him treat you so horribly."

"I have no grounds to divorce him. I hear voices for god sakes, take Lorazapam. He would take Ashley and this baby from me and never let me see them pleading that I'm insane. I don't have the upper hand like I used to. Damn it James I don't even have equality like I should! You may love me but I care for you as a friend even if truthfully I want more and think of you more than I should. It's not fair for either of James. Especially now that John is never around. It would be much too easy to give in."

"Plead abandonment and abuse, anything to get you out; please. I see the way you look at me, with the same I have in my eyes toward you. You have separate money. I'll help you find a good lawyer…at least think about it Helen."

"I will but please no more talk about this. I may accidentally kiss you to silence your insanely well-intentioned words."

"I want to kiss you and wipe away all the tears you don't let fall. I do love you."

"James enough! I'll go get Ashley, I feel much better now. Try not to stare at me so much, she wants me to paint her a picture of us as Lancelot and Guinevere."

James's laughter soothed her quickening pulse and pounding heart.

"I'll speak no more of this. But at least we know how the other one feels. Think on what I said; and try to see my reasoning for it; before it's too late."

"I will James, I will." Helen gave him a halfhearted true smile, as she headed up to Ashley's room.

Ashley was not one to eavesdrop, hearing her parent's arguments loud and clear, so Helen knew her volume would be up and she'd be engrossed in her game.

She opened the door and was proved right. Link-little Link was running through Hyrule Field, going to the Castle town square.

"Ashley dear your Uncle Jimmy is here and is dying to see his Ash."

Ashley shot up, not bothering to save her game and ran downstairs as fast as her little feet could carry her.

Helen laughed as she saved and turned off her game, picking the system up and putting it away. James could be heard yelling Ashley's name as she most likely bombarded him with mega ton hugs and kisses.

James would be such a good father. Helen almost wished the child she carried now were James's; but she pushed those thoughts aside for now, deciding to think on them later when she painted with her head phones blaring. She'd consider his offer as long as she got custody of Ashley. Right now the girl hardly ever saw her father anyway. James was right, it didn't matter how good of a lawyer John was, if Helen had enough money and a good layer, she would win because dear old Johnny would have himself as his own lawyer.

Helen walked carefully down the stairs, nausea creeping up on her as she smelled the finished food. She pleaded her stomach to please calm down.

She nearly had a panic attack when the front door opened to show John's arrival. He looked up at her jump on the stairs and gave her a concerned haphazard worried look.

"Helen darling, are you all right?"

"Yes John I'm fine, just a bit hungry is all."

"No wonder you hardly eat anything. Are you sure you're all right?"

"Yes John, perfectly fine. James is here and dinner is ready. Here let me take your jacket." Helen made her way down the last few steps carefully, holding on the stair rail so she wouldn't fall, reaching out for John's jacket.

"Don't I get a kiss?"

Helen knew he was only acting this way because James was here. He usually talked about his day during dinner, played with Ashley gave her a bath and seduced her with his hands and kinder words.

"How could I forget?"

She walked towards him and kissed John, all the while giving him all the passion she felt for James. If James did see this very public unnecessary awkward show of affection he would know how little she wanted it and how much she wanted out of John's arms. Plus John's aftershave almost always made her stomach turn.

James never shaved, just trimmed his beard and goatee. She found him incredibly sexy with or without a bear, plus he had hair. She found herself more and more attracted to him, her heart beating every time he came into the room. Sometimes she couldn't help but to stare unwarrently.

Helen just hoped John wouldn't notice anything untoward tonight between her and James. She wasn't sure if she could hide her affectation and affection for the man.

The kiss lasted for what felt like forever.

She knew what he wanted and married to him or not she had never been able to say no to him. He was still miraculous in bed, not only caring for his pleasure, but hers as well. It was one of his better more endearing traits he still possessed.

She smiled when he ended their kiss, more than grateful he had decided to skip shaving that morning.

Helen moved out of his arms so she could allow Ashley to greet her father, remember James wasn't and recall her manners. Ashley did to John, happily holding his neck close.

"Mommy's going to paint me a picture of Zelda and Link. Isn't that awesome daddy?"

"That is my dear Ashley. Now go to the table, you can even sit next to your Uncle James."

"Hear that Uncle James I can sit next to you!" Ashley walked briskly, knowing the consequences if she ran and if she called him Jimmy around her father.

Helen shared a knowing glance with James as she sat down next to John and James.

James placed his hand on hers under the table and patted it as reassurance nothing bad would happen tonight and that he'd be there for her, no matter and no matter what may or may not happen between them. He'd be happy just to be her friend and confidant for as long as John would allow. In secret of course, he would always desire to hold her close, love her, marry her, and take good care of her, her children, their children. All these thoughts went through his head before he let go of her hand to take a drink of his water.

He said hello to John and they began to eat.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Dinner and Delicious Drama-filled Differential Dying/Dead Relationships**

Dinner went by without a bit of too much drama. Ashley carried on the conversation, telling James all about Zelda and King Arthur. She was extremely excited to see her 'Uncle'.

John stared at Helen trying her best to eat her food. James just raised an eyebrow in her direction. She tried, really did, to no took at James, but she couldn't help herself. Fortunately for her, John did not notice anything wrong, as usual.

Throughout dinner Helen tossed around the idea of James's suggestion/proposal. Not for the first time since she had found out about this baby or the last fifteen minutes did she wish James was her husband and father of both her children. Helen knew she had fallen out of love with John.

When James had hugged her, if she weren't so damned upset she would have had him take her quickly on the couch, sink or on the granite counter top. She had never been so aroused in her life. It was ridiculous how much she thought of James and her.

The last time she and John had made love she had imagined James instead of John pounding with all his might and strength into her from above, catching herself from screaming his name when she came undone. John was too into letting go as well to know anything as different between he and Helen.

Now Helen blushed at the memory, bringing color to her face.

John smiled at her un-maliciously for once and with desire in his darkening blue eyes. James was smart and kept his eyes on his food.

"Link runs all over the place, he never walks and rarely ever sits. Mummy and daddy call me Link, though I like Zelda because she's pretty. Do you think I could be Princess Zelda?"

"Yes my dear, but you are your own person. You can rule your own country and be Princess Ashley ruling over Old City. I can help write a script and you can act out a story of your own."

"That sounds fun Uncle Jimmy. When can you have it ready?"

"The next time I come over, perhaps in a month or so."

"Thank you." Ashley hurriedly ate her food and looked expectedly at her parents. "May I be excused mummy and daddy?"

"Yes Ashley, make sure you get into your pajamas." John said not quite as sternly as he usually would without company over.

"Can I show Uncle James my game mom?"

"If he wants to." Helen looked up at James who nodded his head.

"He'll be up after he's finished. Run along little Link."

"Thank you mummy. Daddy can you please read me a story tonight?"

"Yes Ashley." He kissed her forehead and hugged her.

She took the stairs two at a time. Helen didn't even bother to scold her. She was more herself around James, and she didn't have the heart to deter her new-found energy and good-natured non-melancholy attitude.

"How was your day John?" She saw James eat just as fast as Ashley and excuse himself before he became witness to yet another one of John and Helen's fights he could do nothing about.

"Goo, three full convictions love. It was a better day than most. Was Ashley good for you? Did you get any painting done today?"

"That's wonderful John. I'm so happy about your success today in court. I did not paint though I will this next week. Ashley's latently demanded a Guinevere and King Arthur and Merlin paintings for her room along with the link and Zelda.

"You'll be busy then. That's good. Are you sure you're feeling well?

"A cold is all. I'm just a little under the weather. I'll be fine John."

"I thought you may be pregnant. I could see why you would keep it from me, until you knew for sure if…"

"Sure of what, that I wouldn't miscarry? No John I didn't think you care to have another one, not after the last one. Honestly I didn't think it would happen this soon."

"So you are pregnant, how far along are you?"

"Three months. I've been meaning to tell you, but I wasn't sure how you'd react."

John shook his head, bent down and kissed where their child lay. "As long as it's mine I don't mind at all, in fact I'm ecstatic. Have you thought of any names?"

"What do you mean as long as it's yours? Do you not trust me anymore? Besides whom could I possibly have an affair with; I hardly have any friends? It's ludicrous that you would say something like that John.

"I'm gone most of the day five days a week, it makes sense to me. If you need someone else, I don't mind as long as you are carrying my child and sleep next to me at night"

A slap could be heard from clear upstairs, bringing James sprinting down the stairs; fearing the worst.

"Helen are you all right?" He could see the angry, furious fumes coming off Helen's body and knew she was not injured and far from fine.

"I'm fine. John was just leaving."

She pointed her finger at him, her hand shaking in rage. "Do not come back until you can rescind your comment. I have not dared do what you've suggested. The fact that you think I would be so lonely that I would seek comfort elsewhere is wrong and hurtful on many levels. I don't care where you go just get out of my sight. NOW!"

Tears streamed down her face, her anger making her whole body shake almost uncontrollable. He hadn't made her so angry in years. He should have known better than to test her temper when she was pregnant.

John left with a poorly aimed fist to the granite table meant for Helen and a slam of the door.

Helen collapsed on the nearest chair, not making eye contact with James out of embarrassment and because she now had James all to herself.

"Why do you allow him to treat you that way?"

Helen looked up at James from her spot at the table and glared at him with something between hate and irritation aimed at the wrong man.

"Would you like to leave as well? It's not like I have a choice James."

"We all have a choice, come sit next to me on the couch. I was out of line. I'm sorry."

"At least you have the courage to apologize. James I'm so sorry you saw that." Helen put her hand over her abdomen, praying she hadn't made the biggest mistake of her life. Somehow she knew John would return intoxicated, crawl in bed with her or hold her in his arms if she lay on the couch and spin his deepest apologies.

"There is nothing to be sorry about Helen. You did nothing wrong. The person who should say their sorry is most likely headed toward the nearest bar. I'm surprised he did not ask me to go. I would have refused gladly. You need me…I mean some company more than Johnny."

"Thank you James. You are a dear friend. It's unfair that you cannot be more. After tonight I wish so many things had been different and I had chosen differently."

"It's not too late."

Helen grimaced in pain, knowing what would happen next. The doctor had told her to stay calm and not be or get stressed.

"James something's wrong. Call the doctor." Helen bent down in the chair, as tears formed in her eyes and James knew instantly what had happened.

He grabbed her arms and feet and carried her to the couch.

"Damn it, what do we do with Ashley?"

"Call my father, he'll come over and watch her."

"Where are the numbers?"

"The hospital is five minutes away. I have time; I probably already lost it anyway. I haven't felt good or right all day. God damn it James this can't happen again."

More tears fell down, her breathing becoming more and more irregular.

"On the fridge. It hurts so much."

"You will not lose this child. I will make everything right once more. I'll be back." He kissed her forehead gently; squeezing her hand for reassurance once more.

"Please do hurry." Helen gripped the nearest pillow and let out a cry.

James ran to the phone and immediately started to call her father.

"Gregory Helen needs to go to the hospital. No John is not here. Can you please come over as soon as possible? She is in a great amount of pain. Thank you Gregory."

"You're father is on his way. I'll take you to the hospital."

Helen grabbed his hand, grateful he was here instead of John. John would have had her drive herself; pleading someone had to watch Ashley and her father was also unavailable even if he was not.

She could feel a familiar wetness pooling between her thighs and knew if it wasn't too late five minutes ago, it was now.

"It is already too late."

James picked her up again and started to head towards the door, knowing Gregory would be there as soon as he got her in the car; and that he could not delay one second.

"Never Helen, we will save this child."

Helen started to weep, already feeling the heartache of another child gone before she had the chance to know and hold it. She had somehow known it was a boy. She would have named him Henry.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Hospitals, Hospitality and Hope Shaded in Purple**

Helen woke up to find herself in a hospital bed with an IV in her arm and James by her side with tears in his red irritated eyes.

"Helen I'm so sorry, they couldn't save the baby."

"What went wrong?" Helen tried to sit up, but found it increasingly difficult to even lie in bed. She stopped trying when she realized that the extra pain was not worth it.

"Helen you need to rest."

"James I need to know. I deserve to know. Was it a boy?" Helen started to cry at the thought of knowing for sure.

"It will only be worse if you know." James flinched at the re-occurrence of her tears.

"James Watson tell me NOW." She glared at him, her tone one of annoyance mixed with piercing soreness.

"It was the stress of the fight between you and John, but mostly they say this was happening for days before your argument with John. God damn John, the man doesn't know the meaning of reason."

Helen found she couldn't look at James, so she stared at the wall while she instantly stopped her tears, becoming completely insensitive.

"You were right James I should divorce John. I don't love him anymore. He let me have Ashley. He was so disappointed she was a girl. He acted like she didn't exist for the first six months after she was born; then she crawled to him and smiled and he let go of his frustration that she wasn't a boy."

"John would have been ecstatic this time. I'm sure I will no longer call him a friend after tonight."

"So it was a boy?" The tears returned, worse than before. She started to weep, causing James to scoot his chair closer to her.

"Yes, yes it was. I'm so sorry."

"Nothing that happened was your fault Jimmy. You acted bravely. You were my Lancelot to my Guinevere."

"I'll call a lawyer as soon as you're ready and feel better."

"I do love you James. I just didn't know how much till now. You are a good man and the one I've always needed."

"I'll call Gregory, tell him what happened and ask if he could keep Ashley for a few more days. I'll take care of you Helen."

"Please don't tell him about John. I will when I pick her up." Helen held out her hand and smiled at him.

"I won't, rest Helen. The doctor will be in soon. I love you and adore Ashley. I'm not asking for your hand in marriage, but I will, one day. I can make you deliriously, ecstatically happy."

"I know, I know you can." Helen fell asleep, slurring her last words.

During the next few days James did take care of her. When the pain got too bad and she couldn't paint, he put on old black and white movies for them to watch in her room. She even giggled when he tried to fish and kept failing miserably.

"James I think you should stop while you're ahead, or in your case behind."

"I'm glad this is amusing you so much." He looked as if he was actually trying, which only made Helen laugh even more.

"I think you're doing so horribly because you are trying to make me laugh."

"A fisherman never divulges or reveals his secrets." He snagged a fish, but it let go, causing him to almost throw the controller at the screen.

"Secrets on not how to catch any fish?"

"I'll never tell."

"Of course you won't. You're more stubborn than Ashley when she says 'Mummy silly you have to figure the game out yourself; if I help you that's akin to cheating.'"

"She knows the meaning of the word akin?" James paused the game for a few seconds to look at her to see if she was yanking his chain even more.

"I told her to find a word that is a synonym of like. She overly used like and it was getting more than annoying."

"Ah very good." He looked around her room and smiled knowingly and raised his eyebrows. "I see Ashley has all your books from Oxford. Do you want me to read you one?"

"I'm much better now. It's been three days James. The worst is over."

"I beg to differ; you are still in pain, bleeding, and when you do sleep you toss and turn. I'm no doctor, but I do know a thing or two about you; no matter how hard you try to hide away from me pretending you are better."

"Pity you known me for fifteen years. You forget so easily that I know you just as well."

"Do you now?"

"Oh I do."

"I think it's about time you kiss me."

"Oh but I want to do much more."

""There'll be time for that. I just want a kiss Helen. I'd give you anything you want, but you have to be better before then." James kissed her tenderly at first.

She increased the intensity with all the passion she had felt for him the last ten or so years. James fell into her embrace, falling onto her as he kissed her neck.

"James we need to stop before the inevitable happens."

"I agree Let me make you dinner while you take a nap. What would you like?"

"Besides you, grilled chicken, mushrooms and brown rice sound delicious."

"Chicken it is, allow me to wow you with my insane/mad cooking skills."

"I'm sure you're a little mad. At least you don't hear voices."

"I don't think you're crazy. Hearing voices isn't horrible. I'll do anything to make them stop."

"The Lorazepam isn't working either and I don't know what to do. I can't even sleep properly."

James hugged her close to him as she cried for the child and husband she had lost. She had not cried since the night John left, describing her feelings as numb to very angry. Now she was neither. James would indeed help her with anything.

"James…"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Not so Unrequited Bright Green Love**

Three months later Helen opened the door to find divorce papers and a note from John saying she could have Ashley all year except the summer, Fathers' Day and Christmas Eve.

Helen took the papers inside, having already explained to Ashley why she wouldn't be seeing her father very much. Ashley of course, understood yet still cried in her mother's arms for a good three hours. She asked plainly with no hurt in her eyes if James would be around more and if her mother could pain James and Helen as Lancelot and Guinevere. Helen said yes to James, causing Ashley's eyes to light up like Christmas morning. Helen said not yet to the painting, perhaps in a few weeks. Ashley silently cried in her arms some more, and then there was silence as she suddenly she fell asleep.

Today when Helen went up to her room to tell her about spending time with her father during the summer, and two other days Ashley was extremely happy. Ashley smiled, hopped of her mother's lap and grabbed all her dress up princess things. "Mom can we pretend-you be the Queen and I could be the Princess. Is Jimmy coming over today, he could be the King?" Ashley had taken to nixing the Uncle after she realized her father wasn't coming back anytime soon.

"Yes he's coming over tonight, but your grandfather wanted to take you for the weekend. He has some more books he wants to give you."

"Is Jimmy staying the whole weekend like when you were hurt?" Helen didn't think it was right to tell Ashley she was supposed to be having another sibling when she wasn't anymore. So Helen had said to her father to tell Ashley that she had the flu and she didn't want Ashley to catch it.

"No Ashley and that's hardly an appropriate question for a ten year old little girl."

"Sorry mom." Helen lifted up her chin, seeing the pout and tears in her eyes.

"It's okay, I suppose you mean well. Yes I will play dress up with you. Your grandfather will be here in an hour, but you'll not be seeing James; he's coming over later. Please don't mention this weekend to your grandfather please."

"I'll not say a word." She zipped her lips and smiled as if she would tell him. She knew all the ways to get her mother to confess anything. Unfortunately for her, her mother could do the same much easier.

"Ashley Patricia Druitt you will be grounded from Zelda and all your books for a week if you mention James coming over for the weekend. Your grandfather likes to jump to conclusions."

"What conclusions would he jump to mom?" Ashley looked up at her with a confused look on her cute face.

"What does the little Princess not need to tell?" A man's voice came booming from the doorway of Ashley's room. His voice made Helen jump and her pulse quicken in slight fear of what he may have overheard.

"Father! How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to know James has finally won your-"He pointed to his heart. "I always did like Ja...That's for another time. Is it alright if I take Ashley early? The Museum of Natural History and Art closes soon. Ashley will be thrilled to see at least 5 paintings."

Gregory kissed his daughter on the forehead. "As long as he makes you happy you have my blessing." Helen hugged him tight.

Ashley tugged her grandfather's arm.

"Bye mom. Grandfather can you play King Arthur and I can play Guinevere's youngest sister Nimue?" Gregory nodded his head yes. Ashley grabbed her bag and raced down the stairs.

"So are you and John…"

Helen nodded her head. "I got the papers today. He's giving me Ashley except for the summer, Fathers' Day, and Christmas Eve. Also I get to keep the house, my car, and all my money. He'll even pay child support. He's being surprisingly fair seeing as I'm the one who kicked him out. I'll do well without him father."

"I am sorry things did not work out, but you must know I must have always liked James better. You always knew were you stood with him."

"Thank you father."

"For what are you thanking me for?"

"For always being so understanding."

"I love you Helen and Ashley, more than life itself. You are all the family I have left. I will always be understanding and respect your decisions. John was not the man for you, but I do believe James is. He will always love, adore, respect, allow you have your own space, and he will one day be the one Ashley looks up to not as an Uncle but as a father. He is a good man. It is so obvious you love him and cannot get enough of the man."

"We haven't done anything other than kiss if you have to pry." Helen rolled her eyes, he always did this, but now she didn't really mind telling him happy news of her and James.

"So he's leaving tonight?" Her father's tone held within it a laugh and a smirk.

The blush on Helen's face told her father everything he needed to know.

"Have fun, has he proposed yet?"

"No but he said someday, probably sooner than later he will."

"I'm happy to give you away to James Watson." Helen hugged him again.

"You should go before Miss Ashley runs up the stairs and demands to know what's taking so long."

"All right, have a pleasant time." He kissed her cheeks. "I'd say no kissing, but I'm sure you won't listen."

"Me, not listen? It's like you don't know me at all. Have fun with Ashley. I'll pick her up Sunday evening around seven."

"Sounds fine, bring James so I can have a talk with him."

"He's not afraid of you father." Helen crossed her arms as if her father could possibly scare James Watson.

"I could change that."

"Good-bye father." She sidestepped past him and made her way downstairs to make lunch for her and James.

"Bye Helen." He followed her down the stairs.

She kissed Ashley good-bye, seeing James pull into the only parking spot left in her driveway. The man was early, on time, but never once had he ever been late.

Helen sighed as he got out of his sky blue BMW and said hello to her father and Ashley, promising to play the King next weekend.

James opened up the door, pulling Helen into his arms when her father was far enough away to not see them.

"Hello Helen, how are you today?"

"Impatiently awaiting your arrival; I've missed you these past two weeks." She pulled his body as close to hers as possible and gave him a passionate kiss that had them both breathless.

"So I take it you can live without lunch?" James's head remained in the crook of her neck and shoulder. He placed tiny kisses on the freckles on her shoulder while he waited for her to respond. When she didn't he stopped what he was doing and looked at her face.

Helen's pout was the cutest thing he had ever seen. "I was going to make chicken salad sandwiches."

"You are a maddening woman. Mmmm, do I choose you or food?" He continued to kiss her shoulder and neck, causing Helen to moan almost silently.

"Better hurry before I take complete advantage of you and take the initiative and maul you were you stand, neighbors be damned."

"I love the thoughts that go through your beautiful head."

"You would enjoy the ones going through mine right now. They aren't at all appropriate or need to be said. I could just show you. It'd be more pleasurable." He could see the desire in her eyes for him, making him want to do nothing more than to kiss her slightly swollen lips.

"What's stopping you?"

"John left divorce papers on the porch steps today. I am now free to do what I want."

"We should celebrate, how about wine in bed?" He ran his fingers through her hairs and kissed her softly at first, quickly pushing open her lips with his vivacious tongue.

They kissed as if they did not need oxygen, or had not kissed since they had first met fifteen years ago at Oxford. She had painted, met John, fell in love, but James had always been there for her.

James curled her hair behind her left ear and instantly, amorously started to nibble toe-curling-ly on her ear.

"Oh James." Helen grabbed his head to keep it biting her ear.

"Helen what say you to a day spent in bed?"

"That would be lovely James. I do need to lie down. Care to join me?" She asked seductively moving her hips into his.

"Oh yes." James stopped what he was doing, held out his hand to Helen to take.

"Shall we?"

Helen took his hand, kissed him and led him upstairs to her room; her green dress flowing behind her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Making up Time, Love, and an Ecstasy that is overbearingly powerful**

James followed Helen up the stairs, finding it hard not to imagine what she looked like under that dress that had taunted him since he first came through the door ten minutes ago.

Helen turned the knob of her bedroom door, and they walked in.

James led her to the bed, laying her down gently onto the soft mattress.

"James please I need you, I need you so badly."

Her hips met his as she rubbed her pelvic bone into his hardness.

"I want our first time to be slow. You deserve to be worshiped."

Helen arched her back into him as she continued to rub herself into him.

"Helen…"

"What James, we've waited fifteen bloody years; there is absolutely no way that our first time going to be slow? I want you James. Please, I want your hands all over me."

"As the lady wishes." James tore off her dress before she could say otherwise, leaving her in her green bra and lace panties. He reached under her to take her bra off, biting each nipple as they were set free. She arched her back once more, grabbing his head to keep him teasing her breasts.

"Oh James, I need more. Touch me, please." James kissed her with all the passion she deserved and moved his hand down to her soaking wet center.

"Helen you are so ready. I think you are correct. I'll worship you later, I find I have the desire to take you hard and fast until you're screaming my name. But first, I need to make sure you're totally ready for me."

He helped her kick off her flimsy green underwear, his hand going directly back to her core.

Helen moaned when his fingers gently stroked her throbbing clit, and screamed when he pressed two fingers into her with a twist.

"I take it you like that. What if I do this?" James bent down to the floor, keeping his fingers in her, going in and out as hard as he could and started to lick her were it would give her the most pleasure.

"James! Oh god! Yes!" Her body began to shake with the beginnings of her orgasm, but James wanted it to last longer. He slowed down just a bit, biting down on her clit as she screamed his name.

"James! Oh bloody Hell! I'm so close, please don't you dare stop."

"Me, I'll never stop." To prove his point, he rammed his tongue in to her heat and watched as she crashed; screaming so loud it most likely overpowered her music enough to worry the neighbors.

He kissed her while she yanked off his belt, taking time to rub her hand against his swollen member. This earned a groan from James and a moan from Helen as he started to bite her ear once more.

"Helen I need you."

"Ah now who's begging. If you insist…" Helen freed him from the confines of his pants and boxers, taking him in her hand, stroking him until he could barely stand the pleasure.

"Do you not like to be teased Mr. Watson? Perhaps I should let you go so you could have your way with me."

"Oh yes, I'd like that very, very much."

She let go of him, letting him position himself at her center. Helen pulled on his ear to force him to get on with it.

He gently entered her, not wanting to cause her any pain. When she caused him to thrust all the way into her, he knew she was ready.

He grabbed her hands, entwining his fingers with hers as he slammed into her over and over.

His name was cried from her lips over and over as she met him thrust for thrust. His pounding was doing her in, but he knew just how to make it better. He reached in between them, pressing on 'that' spot, eliciting a primal scream from Helen as she broke.

James knew he would not last long this way, so he flipped them over so Helen could ride him into oblivion. She may have wanted it hard, but he knew she needed to be in control.

He grabbed her hips making her move up and down on him in the slowest way possible. Her breathing began to quicken, pants and moans hitting his ears, causing him to move her faster above him.

James massaged her breasts, every once in a while biting a nipple compelling Helen to quiver in ecstasy.

"Bloody Hell, James I'm going to…OH MY GOD…JAMES!" Her convulsions did him in. He thrust into her three times more and finally let go.

Helen collapsed on James, kissing his lips, her head lying on his chest as she tried to catch her breath and calm down.

"I love you James, so much."

"And I you Helen, I always have, for years. I promise my love for you will never wane, and that I will always protect, respect, and adore you and Ashley."

"James…" Helen moved her head from his chest to look into his hazel eyes.

"Will you marry me? I know now is not the most appropriate romantic time to ask you, but…"

Helen squeezed their entwined hands and gave him a genuine smile that reached her sparkling blue eyes.

"Now may not be the best time, but I believe it is the perfect time. Yes. Yes I will marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life in your arms. You are the man I've always wanted and needed. I would love to be your wife."

James kissed her then and turned them over.

Helen's laughter filled the room. She had only been this happy in the beginning of her and John's courtship and Ashley's birth. Helen knew she would be euphorically giddy the rest of her life with James.

As he started to worship her body like he had wanted to do at the beginning of this, Helen couldn't be more excited for what he would do next…


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Blue Blurry Hazy Blazes Burning Bright **

James and Helen were married six months later in a flurry of purple and green. Three and a half years went by and Helen had news for James.

Helen kept herself busy painting over the years, selling her paintings to art collectors and art galleries. James didn't even have to work if he didn't want to, but he still did. He loved being a private investigator too much to quit his job.

Ashley was with John for the summer. She and James had been trying for the last three months to have their own child. Doctor Griffin had told them because of Helen's history and her age-thirty-eight being close enough to forty-was enough to have the doctor concerned. It had been sixteen years since she had had Ashley and almost four since the loss of Henry (what they called him). They had always been careful not to have another, but they both thought it was time. Now she was just after three months of trying.

She figured she had conceived the first night, not realizing she was pregnant, (morning sickness was an unpleasant reminder of pregnancy), and she went into the doctor today for a check up to figure why she was so sick.

Doctor Griffin instantly knew she was pregnant and was satisfied were she stood, as long as she just took it easy, James stayed off her nerves and she didn't allow herself to get stressed, the twins would be fine and she could carry to all the way to term; or at least close to it.

Helen knew James would be ecstatic. He had always wanted his own children with her. Yet her pain over the last child lasted longer than they both expected. It wasn't till six months ago that she had agreed to try for a baby.

The painting she was in almost finished with would give her husband, her dear James, the biggest hint of all without her having to say anything.

James was on assignment from the police department. He wasn't supposed to say anything about it, something to do with a Ripper in New City. The Captain in James's division didn't care if James was forced to work with his old no longer best friend and that he was married to John's first wife. He had been working with him for the past two months.

James's take on making love to her had changed—more passionate, a bit rough, as if he was trying to prove she belonged to him now. His domination of her was wonderful.

Though, last night she had asked him to let her be on top because she was so damned nauseas. He had allowed it, but had moved her hips so much she had almost gotten sick on him.

She fell asleep hungry, nauseas, sated and exhausted. Helen had always been vocal, but having to muffle her cries in a pillow or bite them into James's shoulder felt so restricting. She, knowing Ashley was gone for the next two months, finally get go. James didn't mind, though his fingers and the way he had her move had her screaming and wanting more. She had forgotten how many times he made her come undone; she just knew he waited for her until her last crash. They both cried out each other's names. Helen had never felt so much pleasure, probably a tie between their first time and their wedding night in which James had not let her rest until the next evening.

Helen placed the final touch on the mother holding two babies just as James came through the door as silently as possible.

She didn't hear him open the squeaky screen door.

When he saw what she painted he instantly knew. James sidestepped over to the granite counter top were they had conceived their children.

On Helen's insistence they had made love on the counter, something she said she'd wanted to do for years. They had then walked to couch, still attached and partook in another round of crazy good sex.

He smiled at the memory. He came around to his wife and placed his hand around her slightly bigger lower stomach.

"We're having twins. How far along are you?"

"Two and a half months. I think we shouldn't know what they are, you know keep it a surprise."

"I agree."

"We need to think of names and get things for the nursery. I'd say in a soft green or yellow, perhaps a nice orange. I'll make a list and you can go out and get some things and help me set up the room We can even have Ashley help. All I want to do is throw up and painting is the only thing that helps me not get as sick."

James rubbed circles on her back. He had known two weeks ago his wife was pregnant, but she deserved/needed to know by a doctor.

"Make the list and you and I can go tomorrow. I know you Helen if I got the wrong thing or if you didn't like it you'd have me take it back. Shopping for our children won't be too stressful; perhaps it will even be fun."

Helen started to cry, something that had tipped him off two weeks ago when she had cried over dinner not being perfect and thinking he was mad at her for not having the house cleaner. He quickly reminded her he was James, not John and that he would never get angry with her for something so simple as a slightly unclean house.

"James I can't take any chances. Henry was hard enough. I can't imagine losing two. I don't need to go anywhere. Anything irritates me and will make me stressed. Hold me on the couch; tell me about your day?"

"You are going to be fine, come here." James turned her around, kissing away her tears as he held her close to him.

"This is not the couch James."

"I thought I could squeeze the fear out of you while we danced."

"If we dance I'll get sick, and you don't have any music playing silly."

"Who says I'll let you get sick or that we even need any music?" He led her in a gentle sway, as Helen gripped onto his neck and he on her hips.

"I feel like it's prom. We haven't danced since our wedding day."

"An occurrence I would love to relive."

"I do love you James."

"And I you Mrs. Watson. Shall we go to the couch now?"

"I like this, right here, in your arms."

"I find I need you Helen. Are you feeling well enough for another go on the couch?"

"Always James…Always."

Helen wasn't quite as nauseas as she was last night and if James wanted her by God she couldn't deny she wanted him just as much.

They swayed to her white couch and he worshiped his wife even more than their second time together. James was smart enough to turn her music onto hard rock and close the blinds so the neighbors didn't see or hear anything, and would only complain about the music being too loud.

Helen and James fell asleep on the couch entangled in each other's arms. Helen dreamt of a lab with blue water.

She woke up, gasping for breath, clinging to James as if she would drown otherwise.

James woke up to a shaking Helen. He wrapped his arms around her tighter and spun circles around her back to sooth away her bad dreams. He was used to her screaming and then crying silently in their bed until she moved to the couch. He had pleaded she take something for the nightmares, but she had refused.

Two weeks ago the drams had gotten worse. Helen barely wanted to sleep—the only thing that would force her to rest was random intervals of making love in random places around the house, being dominated, and her ambient, which all had her out like a light. He had hoped her doctor would give her anything to make her sleep better. Night terrors would be detrimental to keeping her stress down. But he hadn't and it worried him, more than her willingness to never say no to him even though he had told her countless times she could, especially if she were sick with morning sickness.

Her confidence was back, but sometimes he though she still felt like he would start acting like John, even though he never once did. Fifteen years with John would not bode well for anyone's psyche.

The voices had stopped a year after were married so the doctor took her off of Lorazepam. Her sleeping patterns were erratic at best after she was no long on the medicine.

He had even gotten used to her odd painter's hours.

"Helen dear, let's move to the bedroom. The bed is much more comfortable than this couch."

"Are you saying you're growing old and that I'm now too heavy for you?"

No, you are too thin and I was thinking about your comfort no matter how old I am."

"I love you James. Care for another go on the bed. I have calories to burn."

"Please tell me you are joking."

"You're the one who said I'm too skinny. I'm hungry all the time, but you try carrying two babies and try to keep everything you eat down."

"Can't the doctor give you anything, a pill perhaps to lessen the morning sickness?

"I suppose so, but it will pass soon. You're lucky I'm so thin; I have to gain a good thirty pounds. I won't be so skinny after the end of this."

"You'll still be my beautiful Helen and nothing will ever make me love you less.

Helen got off her husband and made her way seductively with a blanket wrapped around her body to the stairs.

"Are you coming deary?"

"Oh yes." James bounded off the couch and ran to his wife, grabbing her hand as they went up to their bedroom.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Dreams, Twins, and the Unexpected Arrival of Unwanted Guests**

When Helen dreamt she dreamt of a tall man like John in a black trench coat and three times she had pointed a gun at him, one time actually hitting him. James had a device on his chest, arm and legs. She saw him right before her eyes growing old before he died. Helen felt electricity from a man with spiky hair and saying how people always hurt the ones they love. Nikola Tesla was his name, like their neighbor who did strange experiments with lightning and ate up all their power on the street.

She woke up crying, hating herself for dreaming of John and James dying. The only thing that would make her feel better was her moving her hips into his. Helen grabbed James tighter than she ever had before making him gasp for air.

"Helen I can't breathe, loosen your grip please."

"James please what's my favorite part of The love Song of Alfred J. Prufrock?"

"That's too easy. Indeed there will be time, time for you and time for me. For a hundred decisions and indecisions before the taking of toast and tea. By the way, would you like me to get you some green tea and rye toast?"

"I just want you to hold me James. I dreamt that you died and that was with John and he was Jack the Ripper. It was horrible."

James laughed, earning him a teary glare from his wife. "That was not funny."

"Oh I know my dear; it's just that I can see John being Jack the Ripper is all. He did have a very contemptuous temper."

"That he did. I find I don't want to fall asleep."

"I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."

"You had better."

"I promise Helen. Always, for all eternity."

"Never say that again, that's something John used to say."

"Are you a little bit too angry? I am not the one to be angry with Helen. Just because you had a bad dream doesn't mean you have to take it out on me."

Helen loosened her grip on him, allowing him to breathe properly. "I'm sorry James, I'm just so tired. Perhaps I will ask Doctor Griffin for some pills for the nausea and to sleep without dreams, or at least sleep with decent ones."

"I understand I do, and I'm extremely happy you've finally found reason. I just hate to see you so off because you're so sick and don't want to sleep."

"I know James, I know. Things will get better, I promise."

They did get better, much better. Over the next six months things were great, grand, miraculous, amazing, astounding, astonishing, incredible, phenomenal, marvelous, unbelievable, extraordinary, shockingly implausibly so much better.

Christmas was around the corner and Ashley was home, helping fix and organize the nursery for the third time. They thought they were keeping it a surprise, then having two girls, but it ended up on boy and one girl—both obvious in the last ultrasound; well at least to Helen. James couldn't make head or tales of said ultrasound.

They had decided to name them when they were born. The nursery was being painted with light green, blue, and purple: the green with grass, blue sky with clouds and purple butterflies on the girl's side and dark purple blue stars and bright green trees on the boy's side.

Helen couldn't paint the whole room, but she could paint the ideas and murals on the walls. That was whenever she wasn't sleeping and dreaming about her and James in Victorian London to Normandy to him leaving when she had John's child. She told him in great detail her dreams. He chalked it up to her higher dose of Ambien and Clonodine that made her dreams seem so real; that and the hormones which were not in control. James took it all in stride, knowing this too will pass.

The Ripper case had closed, the man was finally caught. James was not pleasant at all in the presence of John Druitt three days a week, wrapping up the case. He was a tad bit crankier than his wife.

This really didn't surprise Helen at all. John was not a fun man to live with. Working with him wouldn't be any different, perhaps worse.

She woke up to the door slamming. Helen put on her robe—night James had surprised her by buying her lingerie and then proceeding to rip it off of her with scissors and to induce labor because she was a day overdue. Christmas was coming soon and James loved her naked and was always so gentle with her.

James must have had a horrible day. She wobbled to the stairs, not quite making it as a pain that hurt worse than a hundred times worse than Braxton hick's contractions.

"Son of a bitch! James dear I'm pretty sure I'm in labor."

"James sent me to look after you. They have him working late. Did you just say you were in labor?" John actually sounded scared.

"John, damn it! When will he be here?"

"A few hours, besides why are you so concerned, you had Ashley at home?"

"Shut up John, I'm supposed to have the tiwns in a hospital. God I want my husband." Helen grpped onto John's shoulder as he helped her down the stairs and to the couch. "I don't think I have a few hours. God damn it all to hell why did he send you, he hates you?"

"You weren't this cranky with Ashley."

"I loved you back then asshole, I don't love you now. MY GOD I WISH THEY WOULD STOP!"

"Helen please allow me to take you to a hospital." Helen gave him the finger for not thinking about it sooner.

"GOD YES! DO IT NOW!" He laid her gently down on the couch, grabbed his cell phone. She heard him curse.

"Damn phone has no reception. I don't know why."

"Tesla, he must be doing one of his experiments. Damn scientists!" Helen screamed as she grabbed the couch, digging her nails into the arms.

"I hate you John. Why aren't you home with your dear wife and boys?"

"They are on vacations. Adam and Monty are with Mary in France while I finish up the case with James."

"I remember our honeymoon in France, oh f-ing hell, I…" Her ear splitting scream rang out throughout the house just as the power went out.

"REALLY! REALLY! I will kill the man!"

"I have a hankering to kill James for knocking you up in the middle of winter. Oh my your water just broke didn't it?"

"Move me to the other couch, oh shit this hurts." A string of languages John didn't know: Serbian, Klingon, Vulcan, Chinese, Irish, Scottish, Japanese, and Mandarin flew out of her mouth quite angrily.

"You definitely aren't very happy are you? Are you having problems with Watson?"

"Our only problems are you and my hormones, none which bode well for our dispositions as of late."

"Why aren't you driving me to the hospital John?"

"Lightning just knocked down two power poles. We aren't going anywhere."

"Of course OOOOH it hurts so damn much. I wanted an epidural this time." Helen started to cry. "I really want James."

"I know I'm sorry he sent me. I know how much you dislike me."

"I don't dislike you, I hate you. You may not be the reason you and I lost Henry, but your accusation that I was having an affair was more than unfair and ludicrous. Who'd you think it was…James?"

"Yes, after all you did marry him eight months later."

"No wonder James comes home…every night…mad as hell…you p-ro-bably drive h-im…insane." Helen was having a hard time breathing through the worst contractions she had ever felt. She wanted to kill John more than usual, and this time he actually slightly deserved to die. She could simple say the pain made her do it, and people would probably believe her.

"Di I drive you insane? After all you were married to me for fifteen years. I must not have been all that horrible."

"I think I have to push, get down by my legs and tell me where I'm at."

"Ignoring me will not bode well for you."

"Oh why don't you…go out…side…and play a…game….of hide…and…go fuck…yourself? If you don't….want to be…here….go ahead and ….leave…and go get…James."

"You are a maddening woman. You need to push; I can see a dark head of hair."

Helen bore down, her nails scratching the couch so much it started to tear into shreds. She clenched her jaw, forgetting to breath.

"Helen breath damn it, you're turning red."

"You try OH GOD! There is some…thing…wrong." Helen started to panic and her breathing became more irregular. If she had had the strength or the idea she would have kicked John in the face for his comments.

"Push on more and then…STOP."

"Why am I stopping?" Helen leaned as far forward as she could in order to see if her child would be all right.

"There I got it, oh and looky here one little more push…there you go…wow, she's a loud one Helen."

"Is she all right?"

"She's a bit blue, but she's fine. Let me cut the cord and then I'll give her to you."

He cut the cord, wrapped her in a blanket and handed her to Helen just as another contraction attacked her and her water broke once again.

"Helen I'm going to carry you to your bed, no use being all wet on the couches. Don't worry I see the other one's head. If you want we can just stay here."

"I need to push John." Helen's scream woke up her daughter who began to wail.

"One more and this one will be here." Helen did her best to comply to his demand, but somehow this one seemed to feel as if he were stuck.

"John I…" Helen pushed with all her might and her son was born a minute later not screaming.

"John what, why isn't he crying?"

"Ah he's breathing he's just looking around. Here hold him while I finish up here."

Fifteen minutes later Helen held her two children, so very happy to be a mother again. She fed them and then put them in little footsies and had John lay them in their bassinet.

Four hours passed and everyone was asleep by the time James came bursting through the door. He saw the couches and the bloody towels and feared the worst. Then he heard two separate gurgles coming from the bassinet by his sleeping, exhausted wife and smiled.

He picked up his son and daughter gently, trying to keep them asleep and sat in his chair.

James nudged John and smiled at his one time friend.

"Thank you so much John. Without you here things could have gone very bad."

"She may not like me, but I'm sure she feels the same. Would you like me to wake her up and take her upstairs so she can shower and rest in your bed?"

"Yes that would be nice; I'll be down here with the babies. Thank you John."

"I know this doesn't make up for my abhorrent behavior but I would like to someday be their uncle as you were once with Ashley." John actually sounded sincere.

"I'll talk to Helen about it. It'll be her choice, not mine. Be gentle when you wake her, she may accidentally hit you. That's how I got my broken nose and jaw, not in some bar fight."

John laughed quietly to himself at that, picked up Helen carefully waking her up.

"James you're home. Why am I in John's arms and not yours?"

"John is going to take you upstairs so you can shower, I thought I'd take one with you just in case, and tuck you in."

"Ah all right. Then we can talk about names." Helen yawned and leaned into John's shoulder, positively done in.

"I'll be up in a few minutes. I love you." James kissed her forehead and nodded at John to proceed taking her up to their room.

James looked at their twins, the girl had a dark head of hair with hazel eyes and the boy had blonde hair with blue eyes. He had never been happier.

John came down with a smile.

"She's forgiven me James. I'll sit down here and watch them. Go, be with your wife."

James patted John on the back and then raced upstairs to his wife.

They took a long shower, James washing most of Helen for she could hardly stand. He grabbed a robe for her and led her to the bed. As soon as her head hit the pillow, her body wrapped up in James, she fell into a deep slumber.

"James I think we should name the boy Thomas Gregory Watson and the girl Madeline Jean Watson. Do they sound fine to you?"

"Yes, they are perfect. Now sleep Helen, I'll wake you up in a few hours. I love you Helen."

"And I love you James, though you are on diaper duty for a good month because you weren't here, though I do understand why. Hell as long as you help I don't care. I'm tired."

"Sleep Helen. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Promise?"

"Always."

Helen fell asleep once more on James's chest and dreamed of a place call the Sanctuary.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Waking up not to my Dearest you: or the Most Epic WHY you can't quite convince yourself to Scream.**

_Have you ever woken up with a hangover you didn't deserve?_

Helen opened her eyes, seeing blue all around her. Helen had never been more confused in her life. Everything, every day of her life, her life with John, her life with Ashley, James, Thomas, Madeline; everything was a lie, a dream, nothing more than a hallucination wrapped in a nice package with nothing in it but air.

She let out a silent scream as tears fell down her face into the water she laid in. Her heart may have been broken before, but knowing she was Helen Magnus and not Helen Watson destroyed what was left of her heart.

The man Will, her old neighbor told her she was out for a good six weeks. She had been more content and unaware of her surroundings that she seemed happier than he had ever seen her.

"Where's James, I want to see James?"

"James Watson?"

"He's my husband, best friend, confidant, lover, constant companion, father of my children… I'd like to see him."

"He died two years ago, right before Ashley died; don't you remember?"

She had never had a reason to scream out an epic "WHY!" She recalled King Arthur in First Knight, a movie James hat taken her to see before Ashley was born. He had known nothing of what the movie really was about and was subtlety apologetic about the whole thing.

Thinking about James now would do her no good. Come to think of it, she could have imagined John saying, "But you love him!" to her when and if she had ever 'really' confessed her abounding adoration for James in the real world and the one she had just returned from.

"Will I'd like to know what the hell happened and then go home. I'm sure this is a mess not easily cleaned or covered up."

"There are abnormals coming up from Hollow Earth Magnus. You're right it's not going to be easy."

"It never is Will, it never is."

Helen rose up and out of the blue filled tank, taking the towel in Will's hand gratefully.

Her body still felt like it had just given birth to twins, and she could swear she was still bleeding.

Helen fought a wave of dizziness as a flash of James's sleeping face as he held Thomas shot through her mind.

Will did not notice the onslaught of tears that blurred her vision as she walked to what they called the Psyche Worm. She fought the urge to throttle it, hug it, or get shocked by it once more. She felt like she had died and gone straight to Hell, not knowing what she had done that was so horrible to deserve this fate.

She heard, but did not comprehend or acknowledge herself saying, "We have to go home and figure out why this is happening and what has been done to cause something like this."

She needed to figure out why she felt trapped, why she didn't care or love any of these people who felt like strangers to her. She did, she did want to go home; just not here. She did, she did want to know why this, why now, but was too afraid she'd only receive blank stares wondering if she had gone completely bonkers and off the wall?

All the way home/the Sanctuary she was silent and reclusive, only being polite enough to show that she may not care at all.

She had never felt so alone.

John's arrival two days later sent a pain throughout her body akin to Edison's electric shock therapy. Or Tesla's in John's case…

Her glare towards him was not totally undeserved; after all he tried to change the timeline so he could be with her properly. That and the fact he didn't kill Worth. She'd rather have 'her' John back; not the selfish, prick-ish asshole willing to ruin everything for a chance to be with her before they had taken the Source Blood.

She had never wanted to kill him so much-not since she learned of his ripper-ish activities.

Helen agreed to go with him to find Worth, if only to stop what John had tried to start. Annoyed and more than a little pissed off, she wrapped her arm through his and they were off to Hollow Earth once more.

When John used his 'demon' to resurrect the power his words, "You can't blame me for the dream Helen," Helen thought of nothing more than pity towards the man she used to love.

"The Hell I can't." She walked briskly through the time portal that H.G. Wells was really close to knowing.

Victorian England was not so much as she remembered. She chastised herself for not wearing the proper restricting clothing and holding a gun in the middle of the cobble stone street. The looks she was getting couldn't be more suspicious.

An idea popped into her head, one that would save her from years of torment and tragedy. She would do exactly as Worth had suggested, just a tad bit differently.

She would find Doctor James Watson and secure her future and hopefully, if things worked out as planned, never again have a broken heart.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Repressed Memories are much better than Restricted Reality**

_I could use another cigarette  
>But don't worry daddy, I'm not addicted yet<br>One too many drinks tonight and I miss you  
>Like you were mine<em>

Helen made her way through the dark alley ways hoping to God she didn't run into John or someone just as horrible. She couldn't find it in herself to ruin the timeline just because she didn't want to be taken advantage of in any capacity.

She ran when she saw the secret entrance on Dowers Square.

Helen hoped against hope James would believe her story and not send her to the nearest Insane Asylum he was never fond of, but would use on the most insane of his patients; which were Worth and Stevenson. Both refused treatment in the most hateful attention seeking manner possible. Sticking cyanide through the gas system was not exactly the best response to James's suggestion/honest opinion/doctor's orders. Stevenson took too much cocaine, wrote from Worth's journal and made up a story that was almost nothing like Worth's; almost dying from withdrawal on James's table.

Rapping on James's door would either get a door in her face or a violin across her head. She decided quickly that she would take whatever risk may occur.

The funny thing about the situation was…James had always liked her as a brunette and red head rather than blond and curly.

She instinctively knew she would not be kicked out of her own Sanctuary, now to keep the other Helen away and yet…it still boggled her mind on what to do.

Not knowing what to really do, she tapped on the door, hoping by now they had constructed their special knock.

James opened the door, sleep covering his hazel hazy eyes.

"My Helen you have changed in the last day. You should take better care of yourself you do look like you've been to Hell and back."

"You aren't far off James. Can I please come in?"

James moved out of her way, either that or get pushed aside rudely.

"Do please come in my dear. Now I take it you're a hundred years older, had a child, perhaps three? What brings you to my door; are you having a bit of trouble with time?"

Helen collapsed in his arms and started to cry for all she had lost in so little time.

"What is wrong my dear?"

"I…I love you…James."

He grabbed her shoulders, looked in her sparkling blue wet eyes and realized she told the truth.

"You do? I thought you were hopelessly still in love with John." His tone was a teasing one, but she knew deep down that he was serious.

"Were have you been for the last ten years? Did John not turn into Jake the Ripper and you help freeze my child?"

"Yes but…why…what made you love me?"

"I've always loved you."

"And I you Helen. I've waited for decades to hear you say that."

"I suppose I don't have to ask why? I'm here now and I was hoping you could help me stop Worth, fix the timeline and then screw it up a bit by marrying me, moving the other Helen to America; perhaps a place called Old City, and living the rest of our lives together."

"I see many flaws in your suggested adventurous gambit, but I find I don't care. Did I ever have a chance to tell you how deeply I've always wanted to see you with darker hair? So…was that a proposal of some sort?" James smiled down at her, knowing how much she loved it when he teased her.

"I take it this may take a while to explain, so sit down and make yourself comfortable. I got shocked by a worm and fell into a coma for six weeks and in the dream we were married and I just gave birth to twins. It may sound crazy, but there it is."

"So we're already married and have a family and you want that back. I can't say I blame you. But do you love me or 'your' James Watson?"

"I have always loved you James, you, not some delusional illusion hallucination of a man."

"If that's so then yes I will marry you, but first you should be resting. Giving birth to twins at home is not the easiest task. You must be tired, come to bed, I'll even place the dead bolt on the door so Nigel doesn't try and sneak in."

This James was not like hers but she did love them both. As she contemplated everything she still loved about the other James, she cuddled close to the one holding her close and fell into a dream within a dream.

Getting rid of the other Helen was simpler than she would have ever guessed. This was about the time she had moved to America, to be closer to Nikola and Nigel; that and to force Nikola to make an electromagnetic shield for her Sanctuaries. James was very persuasive, much like both of them.

It did not take much for James to persuade her to make love to her six weeks later.

She was in the lab, content to look at samples of the newest miniscule abnormals they had found in Kent when all of a sudden she felt two hands wrap around her waist. If she hadn't smelled his cologne she would have shot him, but seeing as he had persuaded her not to roam around with a loaded gun, she would have at least stabbed him with the nearest sharp object.

"James I thought you were going to be at Scotland Yard for another few hours. You must be hungry, they made dinner for us, but I'm not very hungry."

"Not very hungry how about starving? Helen dear I can feel your bloody ribs; you need to eat proper meals, or at least something. At this rate you are going to work yourself to death."

Helen wanted nothing more than to turn around in his embrace, but her stubborn pride stopped her from looking into his eyes. Besides she could pretend all she wanted to be angry with him, but he'd never buy her behavior as even close to being true.

"And if I do, would you care? I'm not your Helen; I'm just an imposter who says she loves you and forces the real woman you love away. How can you not hate me?"

"I don't hate you because you are the Helen I've always wanted, needed, and desired. I love her yes, but essentially she is you. Now will you come have supper with me and tell me about your day?" Helen shrugged his arms off with all her strength, which was not much since she hadn't eaten in over three days. He was probably correct; starving herself would not solve her problems as of late.

"Get your hands off of me unless you are going to prove you love me and not her. Right here, right now James."

She expected him to be harsh, critical, and rough, hell he could have attacked her and proven to her that he loved her and not her counterpart. And yet he didn't, didn't throw himself at her, didn't take her hard on the lab table. Instead he wrapped his hand through hers and led her to her bedroom.

"James I don't understand."

"What's there to understand Helen? I'm not the sort of man who will take you fast and harder than you've ever had in the lab or lab table, destroying hundreds of dollars of equipment just to prove my love to you; no I want to worship your body, inch by inch. I love you and only you, even if it takes making love to you over and over than I will be more than happy to oblige; because I want no other woman or Helen other than you. Allow me to please show you."

"Oh James…" Helen was cut off by his amorously placed kiss on her lips. The kiss was soft, gentle, with a twinge of something akin to passion and desire hidden under patience and gentleness.

"I want to believe you James, I do but…" Her remaining sentence was cut off by another soft, gentle kiss that reminded her of her husband.

"Oh James, perhaps you should open up my door before continuing this venture, as much as I'd love to be taken on my bedroom door…"

"I agree."

James allowed her to open up the door, holding her back so she wouldn't fall when the door opened. He caught her anyway for she lost her balance over the door stop.

"Careful Helen no need to injure yourself."

She thought she heard a 'yet' at the end of his sentence but she chalked it up to her imagination and something akin to John's voice echoing in her mind. He had always liked it rough, only being somewhat gentle when she was pregnant with Ashley. The violence in the man was one not to be trifled with, and she hadn't even told him she was carrying his child, she was just sickly and morose enough for him to be a tad bit nicer in bed (and other places).

She did not want to compare James with John. She had to remind herself that she hated both John's in either/both realities and loved James pretty much equally in both as well.

James kicked the door shut behind them and led her to the bed, pressing her soft supple body onto the mattress.

"James I see a problem." Helen stated with mirth in her voice.

He kissed and bit his way down to her collarbone. "What is that my love?"

"We are far too overdressed for this occasion."

"All part of worshipping you Helen, we have all the time in the world."

'That's what you think.' She thought to herself as James very carefully unbuttoned and then peeled off her lab coat, finding she wore nothing more than a makeshift tank top and short skirt. He knew she had given up on wearing corsets, the petticoats and other undergarment that went with proper Victorian dress.

Helen squirmed underneath him, rubbing her hips into his as much and as hard as she could at this particular angle.

"Helen please…"

"Please stop grinding my pelvic bone into your hard erection?"

"Oh yes." He grabbed her hands and placed them above her head.

"James what are you…OH!"

"Oh indeed."

"Oh dear God James…yes…oh James." Her moans reached a crescendo as she came undone for the first time with this version of James. Her scream most likely was heard by the entire Sanctuary.

"Shhh, it's all right." He added a finger and then two, curving the tips, hitting 'that' spot, causing her to arch her back and let out another, louder scream.

Her hand moved to the bedpost, her knuckles white as she squeezed the posts hard so she wouldn't claw James to death.

Helen bit down on his shoulder instead, trying to muffle her cries.

"There's no need to be quiet Helen, it is quite all right to let go."

'I love you James, so much." The so much sounded like 'sooooo much.'

"And I you Helen I dare say I am quite clothed as are you, perhaps we should rectify our said condition."

"Yes, yes, yes, YES!" She shook violently once more as he lifted up her skirt, tore off his pants and entered in one swift powerful motion.

"I can't go slow Helen, I've wanted you for so long my love."

"It's all right James please take me, make me yours."

"Oh yes my sweet-vivacious-intelligent-lovely-beautiful-Helen." Every time he said an adjective hew would pound into her throbbing, pulsing heat.

"Come for me Helen, one last time."

She could have slapped him for daring to use the 'time' word, but she did find herself coming once again, this time harder than she'd ever come in either of her three realities.

James lasted over an hour, making her crash so many times, she lost count.

She wanted one of two things. A cigarette that she had only had once when she figured out what and who John really was after six shots of Vodka and pinching Nikola's favorite, oldest wine. And she wanted her husband back, and she didn't care that her heart loved this James, right here right now. She wanted something, someone she couldn't have.

James didn't know and didn't ask why she cried afterwards. He thought she was just overwhelmed and exhausted, not once crying ever since she had killed Worth and realized she couldn't go back to her time. In reality she could have cared less if she went back to her real reality. She no longer wanted, respected, thought of, or desired for it to be hers. She wanted something even James couldn't give her, a fantasy that to her was more real than any reality.

Oh what he didn't know…wouldn't hurt him in the end and shatter her soul…right?

_Where or where will this story go any ideas? Any guesses? Cookies and eternal gratitude will be given to the one who guesses right. There will be more soon. And more of the Tesla story as well. _


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Nothing good will come out of this Travesty of Misunderstood Misery**

Helen and James were married in a blurry flurry rainy purple and green ceremony six months later. The ceremony was private, only having Nigel there as a witness.

Helen was once again Helen Watson and four months later she had news to tell James. She was not as happy as the first time, but she was happy none the less.

She had taken to eating more, though she had fallen into a deep depression that James could not even figure out.

She would have loved to tell him she missed computers, hell even minesweeper and solitaire. Helen almost considered telling Nikola about the internet and how to build a computer, but she didn't have the technology yet and it made her more than sad; that and the hormones were worse than either of her pregnancies.

After living with James for almost a year, she had come to find his Sanctuary as a new home. She couldn't really travel, but she could find abnormals faster without messing with the timeline.

Helen had kept herself busy the last month or so, trying to hide the morning sickness and her fluctuating moods from her husband.

James caught on to her ruse two weeks ago, but waited patiently for his wife to tell him what was wrong with her. He knew she must be pregnant and scared, so he allowed her-her space which she seemed to need more than his company.

He found her in the lab, 'her' lab as she had claimed the biggest lab they had.

James wrapped his arms around her, praying she wouldn't smack or punch him like the last three times he had done this. He laid his hands were their child lay and whispered in her ear, "When were you going to tell me you were pregnant Helen?"

"I was going to surprise you later on this week. How the hell did you know I was…"

"You aren't exactly quiet when you have bouts of morning sickness my dear. And unless you were going to surprise me with the sad news you were dying, no one is sick for over a month without either being horribly sick or pregnant. If you must know, which I'm sure you do, I am very happy. Shall we talk names? I've always liked the name Thomas."

"I knew I couldn't hide my condition from you for long. I just didn't really expect to get pregnant at all. I've had plenty of miscarriages and I didn't want to have one and already be excited for a child. I do like the name Thomas but perhaps as a middle name. I've always liked the name Gavin with Thomas as the middle name. I'll let you pick the girl name, come to bed James I'm tired of staring at these samples."

She turned around, wrapped her arm through his and they made their way to their bedroom.

As James lay on their bed with his arms lightly around her, James suspected there was something else that had been bothering his wife. She would not say and he did not ask. And yet, he was tempted to concoct something in the lab to get her out of her wallowing self-defeating depressive moods and behavior. He could have decided it was the extra hormones, but in all his years as a doctor he had never seen a woman with child so melancholy. Hell if giving her coffee or something with more sugar and protein would be eaten or consumed by his wife and held down, he would force it down her throat in a heartbeat.

She acted as if her heart was heavy and something had been ripped from it without warning. No wonder she hadn't told him she was carrying his child. Miscarriages or not to worry about….He figured she would have told him when she had first suspected. He found he could not sleep with all the mind boggling not to nonsensical nonsense running—racing through his mind.

Helen, at least slept soundly and without the tossing and turning or nightmares. He thought fleetingly that perhaps she would or and could get over her misconstrued misery.

Six months went by with Helen slowly getting better. By the time she was nine months pregnant she was almost her normal spunky self. James hoped against hope that Helen would not get post-partum depression, which was worrisome despite her newfound glee.

Perhaps James was correct, she should stop worrying so much and just let things be as they were, but by god she hated not painting and having James come home instead of seeing him every hour of every day. The man did not give her the space she needed.

Sure it wasn't much to ask, but she was more afraid to ask him anything with the knowledge she most likely would have to fend for herself. She didn't mind really, she liked her independence, not being controlled or really that dominated by men/her husband. She was so epically confused it caused her to have panic attacks that one day when James was at Scotland Yard, alone and miserable she felt a familiar pain.

"God damn it all to hell why does this have to happen again; I am going to kill James!"

"Killing him my dear, and leave your child fatherless, that would not bode well for you, don't you think?" She heard the tell-tale pop and fizzle of John's teleportation trick and she knew she was totally screwed.

"John how did you…" She leaned on the nearest chair, the pain unbearable. It was as if this child was trying to murder its mother. Either her child or John was going to kill her. She had never been more afraid in her life.

"Does it matter? James didn't send me; he doesn't even think I'm alive. Now I am free of my rage, I want to help you Helen. I've been watching you with James for months now. You are not my Helen are you?

"Would it make any difference if I haven't been you're H-elen for o-ver a hundred years?"

"I caught onto that. I did, because I'm more intelligent than each one of you ever gave me credit for. Now do you want me to save both your lives, or just one? Shall I leave James a widower or without a living child?"

She knew, she knew that the monster in him had returned, no matter his good intentions.

"I don't need your help. I would like it if you would leave."

She knew something was not right. She just couldn't think any coherent thoughts of why and what would be wrong.

Helen suddenly and without warning screamed as her water broke; she quickly, before she could grab her gun from her lab coat, passed out from the pain.

John stared down at her unconscious figure and smiled evilly….


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Confessions of the Rip Roaring Pregnant and in Labor Helen **

_As there is truth in wine, there are also subtle lies. _

_Deciphering both is not a job for the weak-hearted__**.**_

He doesn't want her out there  
>And alone now<br>He knows she's movin it  
>Knows she's using it<br>Now he's losing it  
>She don't care<p>

Everybody put up your hands  
>Say I don't wanna be in love<br>I don't wanna be in love

He was always giving her attention  
>Looking hard to find the things she mentioned<br>He was dedicated  
>But most suckers hate it<br>That girl was fine  
>But she didn't appreciate him<p>

She calls him up  
>She's tripping on the phone now<br>He had to get up  
>And he ain't comin home now<p>

Everybody put up your hands  
>Say I don't wanna be in love<br>I don't wanna be in love  
>Dance Floor Anthem: Good Charlotte<p>

James knew he should be at Scotland Yard, but Helen at driven him from the Sanctuary in/with her latest out of character horridly horrendous mood. She had actually screamed at him to leave her be for the day and that she was sick and tired of him hovering and coddling her every second of every day for the last six months.

So he had left his very angry, very pregnant distraught wife at home with her space and took a carriage to New Scotland Yard. He felt horrible leaving Helen with no one except a few maids and the elderly housekeeper for the part of the Sanctuary they had their living quarter's in. The rest belonged to the abnormals and their various laboratories. In retrospect he knew with her so close to her predicted due date…Hell he could have induced labor by making her so damned angry and he wasn't even there for her.

"Son of a bitch. I best be on my way." After four hours of staring at his desk trying to figure out a case, he decided to call it a day.

Unbeknownst to him he couldn't have had better timing, or is it the other way around?

James grabbed his coat and hat and made his way to the nearest carriage.

John may have had his demon back, but he had had enough sense still to pick Helen off the floor and lay her down on the divan. He, however, did not know what to do to get her to wake up.

John stared at the knife in his hand, a smile gleefully gleaming in his eyes.

"No!" A concerned voice rang out. "You love her, you idiot, don't kill her!"

"But she's not even my Helen." Another voice, more sinister and overbearing whispered to him methodically. "My Helen is in America."

"It doesn't matter whose Helen she belongs to, or who she really is. Smelling salts you daft man. That always woke her up when she fell asleep in class when you two stayed up all night in your various escapades."

"What part of this is not my Helen do you not understand? Perhaps smelling salts will kill her. What if she's allergic? What if she dies? Do you think James, your former friend will be any happier with you if you let her or their child die?"

"She will care; and that's all that matters. Now, where would Helen and James harbor the smelling salts?"

"Where would you John?"

"In the medicine cabinet were Nikola used to not so cleverly hide his good wine. Of course I shouldn't have forgotten."

"You shouldn't have forgotten most of the think you have and will."

"Oh would you just shut up Jack? I've grown tired of hearing your voice, it does not lend well for my sanity."

"I'm not good for your sanity."

John grabbed the smelling salts from the cabinet on the far wall, and gently stuck it under Helen's nose.

She sneezed before she opened her fearful eyes to see John still residing next to her. Her fear turned to a look of pure hate.

"Why did you choooose to-day to m-ake your-self known?" She could not hide the pain and tears in her eyes from her murderous ex-fiancé.

"I knew James would be gone and you not in any condition to shoot me. I knew you were in labor most of the day before you actually knew. Did you not consider back labor Helen? Your hand has been at your back even when you kicked James out of his, your, Sanctuary for some time alone. Have you forgotten that James knows only a part of you, while I know a great majority of who you really are just by watching you? James did teach me some tricks; and one of them was to pay attention to action instead of words. Your actions do not match the words you speak to your dear husband. You feel trapped and can't seem to find your way out. You don't want to be in love with James, and yet you are. I'm sure even a part of you even loves me."

"You really should stop talking John. I'm not in the mood f-or a lec-ture. I have to push. This is no-t my first ti-me giv-ing bir-th. They are always quick and mo-st of the time you are there. God, I really, doooo ha-te you John Dru-itt."

John stood above her, his hands shaking, itching to grab the knife or closest sharpest object and end her misery.

"Don't you dare touch her! Get back Johnny. Tell me what you've done to her." James had taken Helen's gun out of her lab coat, sneaking up on his wife.

"Ah James good enough of you to join us. It's not what I've done, it's your child that is slowly going to take her life if she doesn't have the strength the push, which I dare say she does not. She did grow quite faint in my presence. I thought about killing her but I decided to wait till you got home."

"James please do-n't shoot him. He needs to live. Come over here and catch your child. If he talks again, you have my per-mission to shoot him in the limb of your cho-osing." Helen bore down and pushed with all her might.

"Helen I see the head, a couple more my love and…" The rest of his command was cut off by Helen's pained ear splitting scream that brought all the servants and the housekeeper to the room. When they saw what was happening they brought blankets, water, and things for the baby.

"James give me my gun I want to shoot him." Helen stated angrily with a hand reached out to him as she gritted her teeth through another contraction.

"One more Helen and this will be over. Then and only then will I allow anyone to shoot John."

"I want to go home. Oh my god I hate living here. I want to paint. Just let me have a few paint brushes. Please James; it's not much to ask."

Helen refused to bring their child into the world without confirming at least some of the things John had said.

"Yes, give me another push and I'll give you some paint brushes. Please stop resisting Helen; this is not good for you or the baby."

"You can't tell me what is good for me James." A scream and then a cry erupted in the sitting room.

"We have girl Helen! Oh…my…god…"

"Oh my god? What is wrong…JAMES!"

"I see another head. You need to push again Helen."

"Not twins again. OH GOD JAMES I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Helen pushed with all her might and prayed it wasn't a boy.

"We have a son Helen!" 'Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. SON OF A BITCH!' She thought not knowing she said at least one shit out loud.

They had almost forgotten that John was there. Helen grabbed the gun and shot him in the head hoping to match the scar on the other side of his cheek before he teleported out.

"Helen are we all right?" James wrapped their children in blankets and gave them to Helen, hoping she wouldn't run away or teleport away with John with their children.

"It's just last time I woke up after giving birth to twins I found myself a hundred years from now. I don't want that to happen again James."

"It won't happen, I promise. How about the names Gavin Thomas and Evelyn Patricia Watson?"

"I like them, I really do. Evelyn is a beautiful name James, and here you even remembered my mother's name."

"Yes, I remembered. I wanted to surprise you. I love you Helen. Just so you know I don't believe anything John said, and I'm chalking up to the pain you were in; though I will be getting you all the painting necessities you need."

"Thank you James. I do love you, very much and I'd love nothing more than to be here with you now."

James could not tell what his wife said to him was true. 'This may be a problem.' He thought, though didn't say, for he did not want to ruin the moment. He just didn't realize the moment had already been ruined.

Helen didn't want to be in love any more, not with this James. She wanted her freedom back, and she would only receive that freedom…in dreams…


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: I'll sit next to you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear and you won't even know I'm there**

_Loneliness isn't a problem dealt with best alone. Like misery it should be accompanied with a high dose of scorn one relates with melancholy companionship. _

_The Ghost of you _

My chemical Romance

I never said I'd lie and wait forever  
>If I died, we'd be together<br>I can't always just forget her  
>But she could try<p>

Get the feeling that you're never  
>All alone and I remember now<br>At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies  
>She dies<p>

At the end of the world  
>Or the last thing I see<br>You are  
>Never coming home<br>And all the things that you never ever told me  
>And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me<br>Never coming home

And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me  
>For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me<p>

If I fall (down)

Right before Helen fell asleep; she thought she would go back to the reality she wanted. She had never been more wrong. She decided she was not going to continually have children/twins every nine months just in case a miracle happened.

Gavin and Evelyn had dark hair like James; Evelyn's was just a bit curlier. Gavin had James's hazel eyes and Evelyn had the same eyes as Helen's blue.

Months passed and another year flew by with Helen forgoing sleep. The twins had always slept through the night, from the time they were born. Helen tried her best to be happy and James pretended that she was.

James would have loved to tell her that he was not fooled by her acting as if she was asleep next to him for 365 days, but again something held him back. She did seem happier and he knew Helen could live off very little sleep without totally going insane.

She had gone back to the lab when she was not feeding, or otherwise taking care of their twins, but she allowed their new housekeeper to take care of them when James was at New Scotland Yard. James had not caught on to her ruse. Building time machines was not something she wanted him to find out about. She had called upon Helena Ginnifer Wells; the writer of the original _Time Machine_ book for Helen had sworn Helena had gone to Hollow Earth at some point in order to know so much about how to correctly build a time machine.

Helena and James had grown up together, their families extremely close. James had at one point even courted Helena in the beginning years of the Five; he said because he couldn't have Helen. Helen did not know or even care what the extent of James's feelings was for Helena, probably none at all. From what Helen had seen and concurred Helena was the worst version of an ice queen that she had ever known or seen, at least towards her. When she was with James she was perfection at its finest. But, she found she didn't about much as of late.

"Helen I'm sorry my dear Gavin has a fever that won't break. Your help would be most appreciated. I'm sure your experiment/invention is less important that whatever you're working on." Helen rolled her eyes. James could deal with a simple fever. She knew but tried not to care that James was trying his best to keep her not working. He had begun to think she worked a bit too much. She bit back the remark that he didn't work as much as he should; always in Helena's company when she was not in Helen's.

Gavin and Evelyn were three, almost four and kept to themselves for the most part, staying out of the way of their busy parents. Gavin was a protégé of art and science, always wanting new aisles to paint with his mother and learn new tricks with safer chemicals. Evelyn followed in her father's overgrown black shoes. She noticed everything, even the fact her father and mother didn't get along as well as they should. She let them be for the most part spending the majority of her time with her father when he wasn't with her mother or the woman who was only slightly nice to her and her brother.

Helen made her way to Gavin's chambers. She pressed her hand to his forehead. Indeed his normally pale skin was even paler and his breathing was uneven.

"Damn you James, leaving me here with our sick son, and for what reason, oh wait you gave me none. Everything will be all right Gavin."

"Mommy I'm cold. Can I please have a fire?"

"Yes Gavin I'll move you to your father and I's chambers. We'll get you all nice and toasty warm."

Helen gently picked him up, light as feather with his blanket wrapped around him and made her way to her and James's chambers.

Down the hall she heard laughter and then a moan and muffled scream full to the brim with unbridled passion. He heard a "Shhh Helena, quiet remember?" And she knew she had been betrayed.

She had half the mind to go in there, seeing as Gavin had passed out, and kick them out of their bedroom. Helen did write a note saying: I really hope she was worth it James. I'd say you could say goodbye to your children, but you no longer deserve them. I did love you once, but it's not that simple anymore, is it? Speak well of me." She placed it under the door and went to go find Evelyn.

Evelyn took longer to find and even long to persuade her to stop talking to the mermaid.

Helen carried Gavin, her strides almost too long for Evelyn to keep up.

She turned the machine on, set it for one adult and two children and typed in the correct date. It felt the same as the last, like nothing and everything at the same time. She landed alone and heartbroken in the living room of her and James's house. Paintings were strewn everywhere, all her work in one room. The painting of the woman/her holding two babies was in the middle.

James sat on the couch she had had the twins on, crying into his bears as two babies crawled at his feet. He looked more broken than she felt for Gavin and Evelyn had disappeared halfway through the journey through time back to James and Helena.

Her heart broke (what was left of it) but rejoiced too in seeing the babies she had given birth to crawling and trying to walk.

She took another look at James and knew what had happened, she had died.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapt 14: Terrorizing this, that, and or the Pining Feeling**

_What do you say to a person who has a broken heart? Nothing, for no words can ever help erase the pain_

Helen picked up Thomas and Madelyn as they got too close to the kitchen. Never before in the last three years had she felt completely happy until now.

As for James, she had to find a way to make him happier, and seeing as he thought she was dead, things could get a little bit more interesting than she would have otherwise planned.

Madelyn giggled, her dark curls bouncing as she reached for Helen's earrings. 

This caught James's attention. Through his blurry eyes he watched his wife holding their twins and knew he must be hallucinating from lack of sleep. The twins had never giggled or laughed in their six months. Helen's death right after they were born took its toll on James, but healed his relationship with John.

John, at first, blamed James, but soon got over it seeing as neither one of them was to blame. They could both be angry with Tesla and would be for the rest of their lives. John had moved in for a good two months and was of great help to James. The remaining four months were a blur of tears and holding his children tight to him at all times. New Scotland Yard let him take six months off with pay because of his situation.

The Helen in front of him was dressed in a lab coat and a long black skirt. If he wasn't so tired he would have taken his children from her. But when he heard her voice, he knew somehow she had returned to him.

"Helen?"

"James I'm back I know it's hard to understand, but it is me. Please allow me to explain."

Helen did tell him everything. At the end she looked at his shocked un-unbelieving face and smiled for the first time in months.

"I can't believe you're alive. I've missed you so much." James rose up from the couch and pretty much attacked Helen, squeezing her as if she may leave him once more.

"I…can't…breathe…"

"Please never say that again. You said that right before you died in my arms. It was right after the twins were born."

"Like I said before James, I didn't die, I was just someplace else. It was like a hell, an underserved hell. I wanted nothing more than to come back to you, Madelyn and Thomas. I treid, prayed and begged to whomever would listen, but as you know I had to build a time machine to come back to my real family. You are what feels real, not any other reality, just you."

She kissed 'her' James for the first time in what only felt like years, until a baby pulled at her skirt.

"Oh I see we have babies that demand out attention. I take it would only be fair for me to be on diaper duty. Come on Thomas, mommy will take care of you."

In another time Helena and James were lying out of breath when a knock came to the door. They hurriedly dressed and were surprised to see the housekeeper with James and Helen's twins and a note at their feet. James read the note while Helena dealt with the housekeeper.

"Helen's left to the other James. She meant to take Gavin and Evelyn with her. She's not coming back." Tears blurred James's vision. He couldn't help but feel he'd driven her away. But he knew deep down inside that she was never really his. Helena was who he loved now and they would take care of his children as if they were their own.

"I am sorry James." Helena picked up Evelyn and kissed his tears away. They would make this through together, no matter what happened.

Six months later a pregnant, happy, painting Helen watched as Evelyn painted in her coloring book, making a mess Helen would be happy to clean up while James and Thomas placed a twenty piece puzzle together.

Helen had never been happier. Ever.

_**There will be an epilogue.**_

_Alas there is homework to be done and I am not at all feeling well. _

_This is not the end. It is only sort of a beginning of the end._

_I hope you have enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. _

_Now I will have time to write the Tesla Helen story everyone is dying to read. _


End file.
